Bedside Manner Blog

 Saint Peter had a terrible cold, so he asked Jesus if he could have the day off to go to the doctor. Jesus said, “Sure, I’ll watch the Pearly Gates for you.” It was a slow day and at the end of the day an old man with white hair approached the gates. “May I enter the Kingdom of Heaven?” Jesus replied, “We’d love to have you, but tell me what you’ve done to earn your space here among the good?” “I am but a simple carpenter, however my son was very special. I raised him to be a carpenter too, but a miraculou ...

A seven-year-old girl comes home from school and tells her mother, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.” “Oh, dear,” the mother nervously sighed. “What happened, honey?” “Nothing. He made we wait forty-five minutes and then double-billed my insurance company.” ____ Patients deplore waiting. The more apprehensive, aggravated, or inconvenienced they feel about seeing the doctor, the more volatile they become. While doctors with great bedside manner can often melt away patient hostility by entering the room with a resounding gracio ...

Dentist: “Bob, could you let out a blood curdling scream when I start drilling?” Patient: “But why? It never hurts that much.” Dentist: “The waiting room is so full that I’m afraid I’m going to miss the championship game this afternoon.” ____ The office environment is a reflection of the health-care provider much in the same manner as is dress and personal grooming. Since bedside manner is the perception patients have regarding your expertise, personality and very being, you can’t ignore your environment. Office design is ...

The elderly couple consulted with the young doctor and told him they would like to engage in sex and wanted to make sure they were doing it properly for their age. While it seemed like an odd request, he took them into the examination room and let them go to town. At the completion, he told them they were doing just fine and all should be well. He even congratulated them on such an exceptional performance. The next week, and the week after that they were back in his office making the same request and he let them engage again. Becoming suspicious by the forth week, he asked, “You folks ...

The elderly gentleman is about to leave the urologist’s office after getting his treatment for impotence. He goes to the secretary and asks her why the fellow who just left was given a prescription for Viagra and he got Popsicle sticks and duct tape. “Oh, that gentleman has fee-for-service insurance and you have the HMO coverage.” ____ One of the most disheartening aspects of bedside manner is how quickly loyalty goes out the window when the patient has to pay a few dollars more for your service than for the provider who belongs to their HMO. It’s not hard to ...

When asked how he deals with the ornery, miserable, nasty patient, a busy urologist relates that he tells them that their case is more involved than what he treats, and that he would like them to see another specialist in town who might be able to better deal with their problem. This way he avoids dealing with a patient who would make his life miserable. Directing the misanthropic patient to a teaching hospital or a boutique practice, where they have time to placate the difficult patient, relieves stress and burnout. ____ It is extremely difficult to go through your lifetime of prac ...

“Doctor, I’d rather have a baby than this root canal.” “That’s fine with me, just let make up your mind so I know which way to  tilt the chair.” ____ Not everyone can have a stellar personality that encompasses all the facets of great bedside manner. Even without highly advanced social skills there are four things you can do to give a perception of good bedside manner. They are relatively easy to implement, they make patients feel important, and show that you care about them as people. 1. Follow-up Phone Calls Calling every pa ...

The informed consent is a matter of professional necessity and offers the best way to communicate with your patients in a manner that helps prevent lawsuits and defend against them if you end up in court.   A common problem with informed consents that leads to the courtroom relates to making light of, or neglecting to mention, the potential for complications. When there is a good chance the patient will miss several weeks of work after a procedure, you have an obligation to mention the possibility to the patient. Most everyone I know would be rather perturbed to have an unexpec ...

Two kids were trying to figure out what game to play. One suggested, "Let's play doctor." "Good idea." said the other. "You operate, and I'll sue." ____ A Philadelphia OBGYN: “I never thought it would come to this. I no longer have a private practice. I had to sell out to the hospital once the malpractice insurance premiums got too expensive. Now they have midwives doing the deliveries, and I only come in for complications. They know they are going to get sued for just about everything that goes wrong, so they go with the flow and ...

“But doctor, you pulled the wrong tooth. You pulled a perfectly good tooth for nothing.” “No I didn’t. I’m going to charge you for it.” ____ Profit should not be the prime motivator in the health-care professions, however, there is nothing wrong with selling medicine as long as the health and welfare of the patient is placed above all else. While we think of the plastic surgeon or the cosmetic dentist as the salesmen of the health-care industry, every doctor is really selling something to someone as ignoble as that sounds. Even the oncologist ...