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Bedside Manner Blog

(2016/09/26)
 
Saint Peter had a terrible cold, so he asked Jesus if he could have the day off to go to the doctor. Jesus said, “Sure, I’ll watch the Pearly Gates for you.” It was a slow day and at the end of the day an old man with white hair approached the gates. “May I enter the Kingdom of Heaven?” Jesus replied, “We’d love to have you, but tell me what you’ve done to earn your space here among the good?” “I am but a simple carpenter, however my son was very special. I raised him to be a carpenter too, but a miraculous tran ...
 
 
(2016/05/27)
 
A seven-year-old girl comes home from school and tells her mother, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.” “Oh, dear,” the mother nervously sighed. “What happened, honey?” “Nothing. He made we wait forty-five minutes and then double-billed my insurance company.” ____ Patients deplore waiting. The more apprehensive, aggravated, or inconvenienced they feel about seeing the doctor, the more volatile they become. While doctors with great bedside manner can often melt away patient hostility by entering the room with a resounding gracio ...
 
 
(2016/05/01)
 
Dentist: “Bob, could you let out a blood curdling scream when I start drilling?” Patient: “But why? It never hurts that much.” Dentist: “The waiting room is so full that I’m afraid I’m going to miss the championship game this afternoon.” ____ The office environment is a reflection of the health-care provider much in the same manner as is dress and personal grooming. Since bedside manner is the perception patients have regarding your expertise, personality and very being, you can’t ignore your environment. Office design is ...
 
 
(2016/04/24)
 
  The elderly couple consulted with the young doctor and told him they would like to engage in sex and wanted to make sure they were doing it properly for their age. While it seemed like an odd request, he took them into the examination room and let them go to town. At the completion, he told them they were doing just fine and all should be well. He even congratulated them on such an exceptional performance. The next week, and the week after that they were back in his office making the same request and he let them engage again. Becoming suspicious by the forth week, he asked, ...
 
 
(2016/01/25)
 
    When asked how he deals with the ornery, miserable, nasty patient, a busy urologist relates that he tells them that their case is more involved than what he treats, and that he would like them to see another specialist in town who might be able to better deal with their problem. This way he avoids dealing with a patient who would make his life miserable. Directing the misanthropic patient to a teaching hospital or a boutique practice, where they have time to placate the difficult patient, relieves stress and burnout. ____ It is extremely difficult to go th ...
 
 
(2016/01/25)
 
The elderly gentleman is about to leave the urologist’s office after getting his treatment for impotence. He goes to the secretary and asks her why the fellow who just left was given a prescription for Viagra and he got Popsicle sticks and duct tape. “Oh, that gentleman has fee-for-service insurance and you have the HMO coverage.” ____ One of the most disheartening aspects of bedside manner is how quickly loyalty goes out the window when the patient has to pay a few dollars more for your service than for the provider who belongs to their HMO. It’s not hard to ...
 
 
(2015/10/30)
 
Not everyone can have a stellar personality that encompasses all the facets of great bedside manner. Even without highly advanced social skills there are four things you can do to give a perception of good bedside manner. They are relatively easy to implement, they make patients feel important, and show that you care about them as people. 1. Follow-up Phone Calls Calling every patient the night after their procedure is one of the most highly regarded expressions of bedside manner, as well as being an effective practice booster. This small act exemplifies concern and compassion for t ...
 
 
(2015/10/03)
 
Two kids were trying to figure out what game to play. One suggested, "Let's play doctor." "Good idea." said the other. "You operate, and I'll sue." ____ A Philadelphia OBGYN: “I never thought it would come to this. I no longer have a private practice. I had to sell out to the hospital once the malpractice insurance premiums got too expensive. Now they have midwives doing the deliveries, and I only come in for complications. They know they are going to get sued for just about everything that goes wrong, so they go with the flow and ...
 
 
(2015/06/02)
 
Practitioners who perform procedures that are either boring or frightening to most patients should find treatment humor extremely helpful. This material doesn’t work for treating patients under general anesthesia - I do hope that is obvious. When explaining your procedure to a patient, you can get a good laugh or at least set the tone away from seriousness with this offering: DOCTOR “During this procedure there will be absolutely no pain (pause) for me and my staff.”  You emphasize absolutely. This line provides a great use of the unexpected to engende ...
 
 
(2015/04/04)
 
COMEDY IN HEALTHCARE     It was entertainment night at the senior center. The amazing Claude was appearing that night and the crowd waited anxiously to see the famed hypnotist. When Claude came to the stage, he announced, “Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people from the audience to come up and get put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.” He removed a beautiful antique watch from his coat pocket and said, “I want each and every one of you to keep your eye on this antique watch. It’s a ve ...
 
 
 
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